Letting go of expectations
YES! I am a yoga teacher… but I’m not super flexible. YES! I can stand in tree, do a beautiful wheel pose but don’t ask me to do the splits or perform the perfect hand stand. I have good days, I have bad days. I loose my cool, I can be calm. I am Chrystal, I am human and I embrace my imperfections …kinda of…
To be honest, I have been struggling to live in a small town.
Being brought up in the city I use to love visiting the country side to be surrounded by nature so always dreamt about moving to a small town. Throughout uni I would plan to eventually settle down and raise a family somewhere down south. That place became Esperance.
My hubby grew up in Esperance and I immediately fell in love with its surrounds. I visited Esperance for the first time back in 2008 and later moved down. This was however only short lived as I returned to the city in 2010. But my craving for the outback grew strong again and we travelled around Australia with our two children, looking for a place to call home. Alas I found myself back in Esperance.
No sand is as white, no ocean is as blue, no air is as fresh as Esperance.
Its been two years since moving back to Esperance and I have enjoyed teaching for the last 19 months. Teaching the most amazing and open heart yogis that keep me motivated to grow and learn more as a teacher.
However one thing has been bothering me that I think is time I came clean about… I’ve been struggling with the idea of perfection, the idea of what a yoga teacher should look like, what a yoga teacher should eat, how a yoga teacher should be able to handle shopping with two kids on a busy Saturday afternoon at Woolies…
At times it has made me feel inadequate as a teacher, that I had no where to hide in a small town, that I continuously had to wear this “hat” of a yoga teacher…be calm… be healthy… be at peace. I started to resent living in Esperance, wanting to escape and get away where nobody knew me, move back to the city so I could let my hair down, eat junk food without judgment, loose my cool without judgment, cry if I needed to, be silly and laugh loudly … I felt like a goldfish stuck in bowl with no privacy to be free.
But then I realised, the only person that was judging myself was me. It was my ego that made me believe that everyone had there eyes on the “yoga teacher” that everyone expected me to be perfect. I couldn’t escape myself, I had to come clean to myself and accept myself for all my imperfections and love my self unconditionally… isn’t that what yogi is all about?
So today I here by declare that I’m shedding the label of being “perfect” and allowing myself to be free.
I teach to bring yogi’s minds at peace, to allow them to restore and prepare for the days ahead, to give them coping mechanism in there day to day lives, to accept who they are without judgement, to be happy, and to LOVE themselves and others.
Yoga is more than the postures, more than how bendy you are…
I am Chrystal, I am a yoga teacher, and I’m not super flexible but my heart is open and accept my body and will be patient with it and allow my body and mind in time through my yoga practice to get stronger and stronger . I let go of negative expectations for myself. Remember “Problem with the mind, work on the body… problem with the body…work on the mind”
Its time to let go of the expectations and be free.
15 February 2015
Studio Owner/ Yoga Teacher
Bsc. Environmental Health
Esperance Western Australia